How to Stop Work Bullies
While bullying in the workplace is both perpetrated and received by people of different genders, women experience more bullying than men do, researchers Misawa et al found. Almost 75 percent of workplace bullies are men, and 60 percent of these target women. About two-thirds of female bullies also target women.
Bullying actions are by definition repetitive and malicious and can include harassing, offending, humiliating, gaslighting, or excluding behaviors. About 20 percent of workers report having experienced or witnessed bullying, Misawa et al found. Zapf et al found employees at all levels in the hierarchy may experience bullying (p. 118).
Bullying can have a negative impact on a target’s productivity, mental health, and physical health. Women who are treated with incivility are more likely to keep their ideas to themselves instead of contributing to the organization. If not addressed, the targets of bullying will often seek different employment.
Although some may be hard to implement, there are actions the targets of bullying can take:
Try to stay detached and respond to bullying without emotion, executive coach Don Markland suggests. Control what you can, and let go of what you cannot.
Determine your effective stress relievers and use your lunch break or other down time to execute them, Markland recommends. These activities can include going for a run, finding a quiet place to meditate, or writing in a journal.
Be above reproach; follow all procedures without shortcuts, researcher Trichas suggests. By doing so, you will have fewer weaknesses for a bully to exploit, and the bully might fear you will follow any protocols for reporting their bad behavior.
Strengthen your relationships with colleagues, Trichas suggests. They can provide support and allyship. They can also be witnesses, should you chose to file a complaint.
Confront your bully. Either respond in the moment or approach them later, but in either case it is important to remain unemotional and to listen as much as you talk, Trichas says. He also suggests a strategy “based on what Sun Tzu, one of the greatest warlords that ever lived, once said: ‘Build your opponent a golden bridge to retreat across.’” By offering your bully a face-saving out, you will increase the chances that they will cease their campaign of intimidation against you.
Black swan bullying another by pulling tail feathers, 2020 (Sardaka, CC-BY-SA-4.0)
For suggestions for interventions employers can take, read “Incivility is Infectious, and it Silences Women.”
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